Thursday, April 7, 2011

Welcome to THE JUNGLE by Upton Sinclair


Where: Q-train
Who was reading: A lengthy woman folded stork-like into a seat that was a tad too small for her. Her plumage was much redder than any stork I’ve ever seen, redder, even, than the *killing floor of a Chicago slaughterhouse.
*"It’s not really a floor. It’s more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through.” (Simpsons reference)
Did you know? That The Jungle provided an impetus for the formation of the Food and Drug Administration? Not that President Roosevelt was at all eager to align himself with a commie muckraker like Sinclair (more on that).
Did you also know? That the FDA does not test cosmetics before they go on the market? And we’re not just talking lipstick. Cosmetics are loosely defined as “articles intended to be rubbed, poured, sprinkled, or sprayed on, introduced into, or otherwise applied to the human body...for cleansing, beautifying, promoting attractiveness, or altering the appearance.” That includes toothpaste and soap!
And while they do have the power to recall toxic cosmetics, those FDA-holes have only done so a handful of times since the organization was born scores and scores ago.
In light of this information: Please email me if you wish to purchase a bar of the all-natural beeswax and olive oil soap I made over the weekend. Expect exorbitant prices.

4 comments:

  1. And if you play "Maybe I'm Amazed" backwards, you'll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup.

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  2. If you play "Flaming Pie" forwards, you'll hear why Paul McCartney needed those other three Beatles

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  3. Upton Sinclair is difficult and not very glamorous, you it's cool. Respect yo.

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  4. Toothpaste isn't checked? Thank goodness I drink plenty of malk.

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